Okay. This is what went down today. Fuck everything, I don't care who reads this, or what they think of me.


The Every 15 Minutes thing went well. I gave people messy zombie hair using only my fingers and gel. There was a dude with a mohawk who came out especially nice.



Later, at the cathedral, Shawn and I are hanging by the vending machines. He's about to buy me the last packet of sour skittles. But somehow (and I still don't get how this really worked), Brian walked up behind us while Shawn was searcing his pocket for money, and bought the fucking skittles. And bright orange cheesy-peanut butter crackers. WTF?! I WANTED THOSE. So Shawn bought me starburst instead, which are nice because they're individually wrapped, and nice tropical flavoured. But Brian bought the last packet of skittles in the entire building. I will never let him forget this. After the show, he was hanging around the table, saying something about how he is intentionially shining his light in my eyes now (unlike before, where he was only doing it because he was supposed to), and skittles from Tokyo. He gets paid at least $40 a night, which is enough to make me quit acting and become a lighting fixture, if they would hire me.

For some disturbingly amazing reason, Brian's been nice. I mean, pre christmas-incident nice. He actually interacts, smiles when I wave at him, and says hello back to me. WTF is going on here?


I dropped my mic-pack running onstage today. E-M-B-A-R-A-A-S-S-I-N-G!!! No one probably noticed, and it they did, fuck that shit. I've dropped plenty of crap onstage before. The super-duper long robe of my costume was a particularly nice thing to have at the moment, though.

My hands once again smell like Play-Dough. I love that smell.


'Kay. Shawn. I will try to word this as painlessly as possible.

For the past week or so, I've been...umm...sitting with him during the market scene. And every day we've been....um...growing closer. God, I fucking hate how that sounds. It's really not like that at all. He's just a shy person. Anyway, today he held my hand all through the scene and off the stage. It was sweet. And not in a surfer-dude kinda sweet.

I think it's scary that the only time I feel alone with him is when we're onstage, in front of over 1000 people. Today there were about 4000 total from both shows. But they really don't exist to me. They're just a backdrop. They're not watching us...they can't even see us. I never ever get stage fright. When I'm up there, the audience just disapears. But whatever....
It's just weird how the only time he's like this is with two thousand pairs of eyes facing us.
 
Honestly, though, most of this is an attempt to get him to stop "pacing himself" (whatever the fuck that means) and officially ask me out. But whatever. We have 8 more market scenes to get this.


Eight more market scenes...
This show has gone by so fucking quickly. I hate that entire last paragraph. Please shoot me. I'll die fairly happy.